Tuesday, August 30, 2005
thanks dawn for listening to me bitch....and being totally anal... simply because im tired and stressed out over my 3 assignments due next week....
im screwed....
bah bah
black sheep have u any wool................
and i shd be doing my work but im playing neopets....
anyway, just want to say that i hate me for always getting me into stupid messy sticky situations
screw stupid me
HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hate hate HATE lab reports!
wait...
hate hate HATE ambiguous lab reports..........
yep
bye!
found a pot of gold@ 18:25
----------------------
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
no thanks to cherysa i've been reading this...
#72 +(3938)- [X]
The first time hypr opened a box of Cheerios and looked inside he yelled, "OH WOW! DONUT SEEDS!"
wtf are donut seeds
#15641 +(3936)- [X]
I had a boyfriend once that made me suck him off while I had a mouthful of beer.
HAHAHAHA that was me bitch!
DANNY?!?!?!
MOM?!?!?!?!
#1730 +(3929)- [X]
If you went camping and you got REALLY drunk with your friend and you
woke up the next morning with a condom stuck up your ass would you tell anybody?
i dont think so
Wanna go camping?
#10372 +(3923)- [X]
Man i was surfin porn and like "normal" surfin at the same time, so my mom comes in and i quick as hell tab down the porn. So now im looking at a SWAT vest and an Mp5 submachinegun trying to hide the giant penis in my pants. Then all of a sudden this realy gay male voice speaks out realy loud goin "i want to suck your big dick ans swallow your hot sperm" then like 100 popups open up all consisting of hardcore fetish gayporn.
man my mom started crying and now she thinks im gay... it owns
#205633 +(3881)- [X]
WallJam7: roses are red
WallJam7: violets are blue
WallJam7: all of my base
WallJam7: are belong to you
#128114 +(3843)- [X]
Time for my prayers:
Our Father, who 0wnz heaven, j00 r0ck!
May all 0ur base someday be belong to you!
May j00 0wn earth just like j00 0wn heaven.
Give us this day our warez, mp3z, and pr0n through a phat pipe.
And cut us some slack when we act like n00b lamerz, just as we teach n00bz when they act lame on us.
Please don't give us root access on some poor d00d'z box when we're too pissed off to think about what's right and wrong, and if you could keep the fbi off our backs, we'd appreciate it.
For j00 0wn r00t on all our b0x3s 4ever and ever, 4m3n.
#3936 +(3843)- [X]
<+kritical> christin: you need to learn how to figure out stuff yourself..
<+Christin1> how do i do that
#3630 +(3835)- [X]
omg i love this song
Now playing: Unknown Artist - Track 2 @ 128 Kbps. (0:47/3:24)
blazemore: yeah, that's a bad ass song
#214810 +(3823)- [X]
whats the complement to a 43 degree angle?
My you're looking "acute" today
fuck you
#24262 +(3806)- [X]
I'd like to perform a one act play I call, "Creative screwed me like a bitch"
Buy me! I'm ever so sexy
ok. come home with me and we'll play among the stars
tee hee! I love you, boo!
I love you too, audigy
:: later ::
there, you're all installed. how do you feel?
down in front!
LET JESUS FUCK YOU! VRAAAGH!
* audience gasps.
* audigy is putting noise across your PCI channels
Mein leben!
* hard drive has died
Blaaah! blaaaugh! your mother sucks cocks in hell! graaagh!
aaieee
*modem has died
and the new modem I got connects at 32k tops
By far, that's the best one-act IRC play I've read this season. Do I smell a Tony award?
#115 +(3805)- [X]
i like stalked this girl sorta :D
like once she asked me for a ride home from work
and i took her home... i dropped her off at her house
and shes like... wait a minute..how did you know where i lived?
#5598 +(3804)- [X]
Do vampires have anuses? Cause that's why I wouldn't let this kid invade a vampire's anus in this RPG, right, I was GMing, and his character was an Anus Shade, with the power to possess and control the anuses of people and animals.. and I figured that vampires don't have anuses.
a vampire's anus is present, but non-working.
like a network card without the appropriate driver.
Wow. You're the biggest dork on Earth.
And you're DMing an rpg with Anus Shades.
#5259 +(3796)- [X]
somebody keeps jiggling the doorknob on my front door, then running away
i don't know if i should call the police, or hook up some electricity to the doorknob
why don't you put ice on the stairs
and heat up the door knob
and swing paint buckets down from your two story foyer
then a few years later, fade from the public eye.....
#1964 +(3794)- [X]
[01:33] (hilo21) ima looking for a site that seels amp
[01:33] (hilo21) ima looking for a site that seels amps
[01:33] (hilo21) iam looking for a site that seels amps
[01:34] (hilo21) I am looking for a site that sells amps
[01:35] (nexxai) how bout you look for a site that teaches english?
[01:35] (hilo21) fuck you
[01:36] (nexxai) Lemme guess, you'd kick my ass, but can't read the road signs to get to my house?
#4916 +(3764)- [X]
tetris is so unrealistic
#60469 +(3761)- [X]
there's a small fire burning in my room
lemme guess im supposed to act suprised that you're telling us and not making any attempt to extinguish it, so i can submit it to bash where it will join the ranks of the other "SOMETHING CATOSTROPHIC HAPPENED SO I CAME TO TELL YOU GUYS ON IRC FIRST INSTEAD OF ATTEMPTING TO DEFUSE THE HOSTILE SITUATION" quotes that are grossly abundant, similar, and overrated. and despite a new one is submitted each week and only the location of the fire is altered, loyal viewers firmly believe it is a unique and hilarious quotation, pledging support in the form of unneccesary votes
#163301 +(3748)- [X]
God i really cant stand windows me
heh i know. i moved to win2k
* Felacio sucks huge cock
errr ME, not /me
#234970 +(3731)- [X]
so there's this pimp right. he's collecting money from his three ho's.
he goes to the first ho and asks for his $100. she says, "But I only owe you $50!"
he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, bitch!"
he asks the next ho for $150. she says, "But I only owe you $100!"
he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, bitch!"
now he goes to his third ho.
he asks for $200. "but I only owe you $150!"
he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, bitch!"
next he visits the fourth ho.
he asks her for his $250.
hold on, wait a sec
what?
you said three ho's, not four. idioth.
*Tedward slaps Thy_Dungeonman
Don't correct me, bitch.
#197845 +(3720)- [X]
Metallica sold out in 45 mins :/
Yeah I know.
Oh wait
You mean, like, a concert?
yes
#7444 +(3715)- [X]
So, guys, I have some news.
I know I usually don't talk much about stuff unless it's solid, but this is interesting, and I think you should know.
I just got an E-mail about an interesting proposition.
* volsung_ perks up.
Apparently, there are lesbians that want my 'hard cock.'
* volsung_ flips Paradox the bird.
:)
They want it 'now,' apparently, so the timetable is somewhat limited.
Are you going to just take their offer as presented, or is there an opportunity for negotiation?
I'm not sure.
I'm sure your hard cock is in great demand. An exclusive deal might not be in your best interest.
Last time I got an offer like this, there were some catches.
#98 +(3680)- [X]
i don't have hard drives. i just keep 30 chinese teenagers in my basement and force them to memorize numbers
#514353 +(3656)- [X]
Stupid fucking Google
"The" is a common word, and was not included in your search
"Who" is a common word, and was not included in your search
#4780 +(3632)- [X]
do you know of any major organizations that are similar the CDC?
who?
center for disease control
i said WHO
what? i'm asking you
World Health Organization
#5411 +(3631)- [X]
"Male masturbation is a personal turn off for me. As a single woman, I'm especially looking for a man who doesn't masturbate, even while he's single."
GOOD LUCK, BITCH.
#338364 +(3627)- [X]
Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OS's is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders
#117002 +(3613)- [X]
SO U HACKING ME THEN HUH
WElL I GOT NEWS FOR U MISTER I GOT MORE FIREWALL POWERS NOW SO IM SECURE AND IM USING WINDOWS 98 SO IM REALLY SECURE FROM HACKERS LIKE YOU SO YOU BETTA JUST GIVE UP CUZ U GOT NO HOPE MISTER.
* YuFFie (~mirc@3B942731.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) Quit (Quit: Owned.)
* YuFFie (~mirc@3B942731.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) has joined #
HELP MY MOUSE IS MOVING BY IT SELF
#4488 +(3583)- [X]
Rizen: I thought you didn't bang chicks, only me.
...men.
GOD THAT WAS A BAD TYPO.
#12318 +(3558)- [X]
* @Lan plays with his privates.
...
<@Lan> I got these new toy soldiers
<@Lan> They are really neat
#1069 +(3542)- [X]
what the fuck
i think the icecream truck just hit a kid
brbrb
#520670 +(3532)- [X]
random girl: hey!
me: ...hi?
me: who is this?
random girl: Jessica, I saw u on myspace
random girl: ur hot
me: thanks
random girl: np
me: this girl keeps bugging me, but I don't want to talk to her
me: what should I do?
random girl: make up sum excuse, like ur mom is kickin u off or sumthing
me: oh alright
me: I have to go
me: my mom is kicking me off
me: bye
#245718 +(3513)- [X]
<+mOrphz> damn it :/
<@Lego> damn it :/
<+mOrphz> stop that
<@Lego> stop that
<+mOrphz> :D
<@Lego> :D
<+mOrphz> Lego smells
<@Lego> Lego smells
<+mOrphz> /quit
quit: (Lego) (~leet@apex|Lego.user.gamesnet) (Quit)
#454203 +(3512)- [X]
there was this one time I was wanking to porn...
... I kept a javascript tutorial open in another window so my parents didn't start wondering why I was always on the desktop with no windows showing
so I'm just about to splurge when I suddenly hear my dad coming up the stairs
alt-tabbed to the other window and tried to pull my boxers up... computer stalled JUST THEN as my dad was opening the door
I just stood up and was like "fuck... dad this honestly isn't what it looks like"
and he glanced at the screen and said "I sure hope so because it looks like you're masturbating to a fucking javascript tutorial"
#420855 +(3487)- [X]
gentoogod: omg dude
gentoogod: today i might the stupidest 3 people i ever met
gentoogod: thier 3 brains combined couldnt solve the dilemma they faced today
siral21: what was it
gentoogod: ok before i say this
gentoogod: 100% true, not one second of a lie
gentoogod: this lady went into mcdonalds today and ordered a big mac for her
gentoogod: and ordered 2 mcgrittles one for each kid. one had bacon one without
gentoogod: her sons are around 18 or 19 so not infants
gentoogod: she went to the counter furious cause the son that wanted bacon has no bacon on his and the one that didnt want bacon has bacon on his
gentoogod: i fell on the floor beside her and couldnt stop laughing
gentoogod: so i finally stood up and asked her to repeat, thinking maybe shes drunk
gentoogod: i swear to god she looked at me straight faced and repeated it. and her 2 sons were beside her mad that they didnt get the order they wanted
#201579 +(3478)- [X]
Is there anyway I can tell the world I'm an idiot?
Of course, just type your name, where you live and your confession
Kk
I am Mark Duval of Belgium, and I am an idiot
?
Now what?
Don't worry. It's done
#126273 +(3476)- [X]
(JHawk111420) Hey whats up, a/s/l?
(Lady Renegade) more than you want, I'm sure :)
(JHawk111420) ill take that as a challenge ;-)
(Lady Renegade) take it any way you want sweetie
(JHawk111420) k, how old are ya?
(Lady Renegade) probably too old for you, but let's pretend I'm 20 ;)
(JHawk111420) k, what do ya look like?
(Lady Renegade) before or after I'm dressed up?
(JHawk111420) both :-D
(Lady Renegade) well......after I'm dressed up, I have long sexy red hair, nails painted red to match the slinky dress I have on, stiletto heels, pouty lips, green eyes, boobs out to here, and a smile that stops
traffic
(JHawk111420) and before your dressed up?
(Lady Renegade) before I'm dressed up, I'm bald and wearing boxers...sometimes my weenie is peeking out
(Lady Renegade) hello?
(Lady Renegade) hello?
(Lady Renegade) hello ....
#301963 +(3417)- [X]
so, at this college there was an extra credit question "Is hell endothermic or exothermic"
this is what one kid wrote:
First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass.
If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for souls entering hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since, there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant.
So, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose (i.e.,Hell is exothermic).
Of course, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, than the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over (i.e.,Hell is endothermic).
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given by Ms.Therese Banyan during my freshman year, "That it will be a cold night in hell before I go out with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having a relationship with her, the second case cannot be true. Therefore, hell is exothermic.
the kid was the only one who got credit
and this....
You don't know jack shit
That's not true, I know him well
Haha
I'm serious
Jack is the son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt Inc. They had one son, Jack. In turn Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, the deeply religious couple produced 6 children
Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins: Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out.
However, after being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later remarried Ted Sherlock and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name.
She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a son of nervous disposition, Chicken Schitt.
Two other of the 6 children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.
The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
So there.
LOL
I have actually chortled coke through my nose
and a whole load others at bash.org
when i should be studying!
found a pot of gold@ 15:24
----------------------
Sunday, August 21, 2005
oh my god...i cant believe montoya....
so close! 2nd place n he lost it! stupid monteiro....
stupid jordan!........
bah
at least kimi still won.....
found a pot of gold@ 15:56
----------------------
Saturday, August 20, 2005
oh if u ever get the chance to catch Lion King the musical,
WATCH IT!
it was awesome! magnificent, wonderful.
i never imagine them to pull it off, especially the opening scene and the stampede...
wonderful....
well worth the $100 i paid for it...we paid for it...
went with pris dawn jane and ning and jules...
oh and i got curls just for tt day...
i loved it until i decided i look really old with it and then started hating it...
so yeah not gonna get curls anytime soon...
at least not those...
i'll see if i can get a pic of me from ning....
found a pot of gold@ 17:35
----------------------
went clubbing yest... kinda last min...
it was surprisingly fun....
were trying to matchmake ppl...me and dawn were...haha love dawn, she's so cute!
kinda made me think abt my past as i was clubbing..not the clubbing part but things tt happened.... something which i thought i had finally made peace with within me...
but guess not...
who was i kidding
it wasnt easy...
why do i alwways give advice that i never do myself...but this time i thought i had...
oh nvm...just my usual ramblings
found a pot of gold@ 06:47
----------------------
Sunday, August 14, 2005
im degrading to the lowest of all level.....
succumbing to useless gossips.....
and i blame alastair for it.....
damn u al.....
and woohooo yuen!!! congratulations!!!!!
"muahahaha etc!"-quoted
*evil laughs*
HAHA!
found a pot of gold@ 14:54
----------------------
Friday, August 12, 2005
i lllllllllooooooooooooooooooooovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee talking to pat!
she always says the right things!!
oh man i miss u hun!!
did i mention i love that dear girl!?!!?!?!?!
found a pot of gold@ 16:47
----------------------
im going crazy....
crazy crazy crazy...........
HHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
found a pot of gold@ 16:11
----------------------
Saturday, August 06, 2005
man wat if the most charming guy u know said that he was heartbroken cos u didnt say hi to him when he waved at u????????
u melt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
haha ok tt was stupid....
anyway
went to view the dutch masters' exhibition today....
the paintings were really good...
really life like....
amazing...
had house warming today...
many thanks to cheryl (the mother) dawn, wei qi, yuan qi, pris, wen wei, yifang, jun jia and ahki for helping us cook and clean up....
it was fun...
cheryl made a great apple crumble as usual (ps: i learnt from her so i can make for u guys next time!!!!!) and the pizza that we made was amazing too....
and so was ahki's nasi goreng....
fantabulous!
yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
i shall dream of good food tonight as i sleep!
found a pot of gold@ 17:16
----------------------
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
hey hey hey! ur mother is so fat, that when she jump for joy, she gets stuck!
thank u!
ok so tts random...
an interesting day today...
had a tummy ache this morning in uni and so i decided to use the newly renovated toilet in the union house. Now i've been in the toilet once before so i wasnt as surprise to find that it is in a shocking shade of bright PINK!its as pink as the bag yiwei used to carry in year 2... yes that shade...and yes the entire toilet...not a single spot of non-pink...
makes u wonder what the male toilet is like huh.... navy blue????????? what a way to put females back into their place in the society..whats with female empowerment and us intruding into men's role....girls = pink....
bah.....
but! it was actually quite comforting sitting in the cubicle surrounded by pink walls and doors and a blood red floor....yes even the floor is not spared.... oh wait before i continue, just to make clear that the pink is of a single shade...
anyway, yeah i felt a strange sense of comfort surrounded by pinkness when i was relieving my bowels.... this coming from me....ME! Yolanda Ong Hui Ying....who refused to be associated with anything that comes close to that THAT that ThAt tttttttttthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttttttttttttttttttt colour....
it may be due to the resemblance to the inside of a mother's womb....the ultimate comfort, right freud?
so anyway went for my marketing comm tute and we were discussing advertisements! yay!!!! so the tutor posted a qns...who's guilty of going out to buy smth just 'cos they saw and liked or disliked the advert (it happens....it does!) or smth along tt lines...being brainwashed by those irritating thingys that pops up everywhere
so guilty me sat there and said nothing cos i DO!!!!! well i just did in fact seeing how i just bought a pair of calvin klein jeans during my 3 hour break cos there was a sale in the union house....
thing is the jeans was nothing great..the colour was normal..the cutting plain..nothing fanciful at all abt it...but it fits...that's it... and i paid $50 for it when i could get a similar pair at half the price... and i paid $50 for it simply cos its fucking cheap for ck...its like 1/4 of the normal price...
verdict: guilty
and some of u know im a sucker for perfume bottles afterall i did just see the ad for beyond paradise and went out to buy it even before i knew how it smelt like.....
dun we all have suck weakness, especially when it comes to advertisements?
and oh, there are people out there who hate the iPod ads............did u know that???
*amused*
they aren't fantastic but they are cool certainly
so now..........................who's guilty?
found a pot of gold@ 09:52
----------------------
"One Art"
The art of losing isn't hard to master;
So many things seem filled with the intent
To be lost that their loss is no disaster.
Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost keys, the hour badlly spent
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.
I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owne, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.
-Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.
-Elizabeth Bishop